Death as a Question

Some of you've written to me expressing how you feel envious of me seemingly being so happy and free roaming around this remote and unknown city called Mountain East disguised as a 20 something.

Indeed, I feel nothing but fun and younger being a student again. I sleep like a baby and put all sorts of edible into my mouth of which our expects would categorise as being unhealthy. I eat full cream ice-cream 3 times a week and while licking away the delicious sinful melting fat I show off my unshameful wicked grin and gasp "Oh, so nice!" and not giving a damn of the unbecoming of my waist line. I jump up and down and shout like a kid with my mates. I wear brightly coloured t-shirt with fashionable jeans and trainers, tie my hair a pony, tell silly jokes and laugh with all my heart not worrying about my shoe size, do all the silly-dilly things and yet no one will chastise or laugh at me.

I enjoy flirting with innocent boys and see their cheeks turn pink. Boy, they are such babies. I like saying hello loud-loud and smile big-big to all the strangers in the streets and see them get surprised and then smile back using their long forgotten facial muscles.

Well, it just seems that being able to do silly things contributes a lot to the meaning of happiness loh. Ha! But, really, despite all the laughters, what I like most about being here is that I get to interact with the locals and they get me set into pondering mode a lot. Mountain East people are SOME kind of species that's nothing like the ordinary capitalists you'd meet from the British colonies.

They do everything with a clear motive. Well, motive may not be an appropriate term, but you know what I mean. And that motive has to either something to do with money or one's status in society. There's no such thing as a hobby or out-of-interest. There's no such thing as being soulful or romantic or to feel connected to nature. There's not such thing as enjoying a cup of nicely brewed coffee with a generously cut of cheese cake sitting by the road side. No such thing as, come let me buy you lunch today. No such thing as let's have BBQ party tonight. In short, China feels like a land without a soul.

It is cold here, my friend
Even the thermometre insists it's 38 degree C.

They think like E.T. if you ask me, and vice versus. And it's somehow thrilling. Imagine living among the population of 90 million (Mountain East alone, not the whole China) and none that you can connect with. Wah, that's so... Truman Show like... err... maybe not. But it's one heck of thrills.

Their take on life is pretty simple. To them, one is either alive or dead. If you happen to be alive, then you've got to strive for money and gain a favourable position in society to make your family proud. In order to achieve that one must go through the process of getting educated, learn English, be smart, get a job working for the gov, earn the cash, get a status, get the 'stars' lining up on your shoulder, get married young, stick to one partner, have kids (oops, kid) and, err, finablly, say bye bye to the world. And now, if you are dead, that's it, gone. No soul, no heaven or hell. No al-mighty God waiting to judge you. If you are dead, you are dead. The bubble bursted, like it never existed.

And somehow, this kind of philosophy reflects greatly on ... err... they way they look. Squarish face, tiny eyes and no expressions. Don't ask me how.

Do you know how dangerous it is to think there's nothing at all after death? That gives me the creeps. Not because I'm scared of death, but it is so because if one allows him/herself to accept that nothing will happen after death, can you imagine how such self will behave in his/her time being alive. What kind of acts and deeds such person would permit his/her own self?

You know what I mean? There's no hell, so I can just do about any evil deeds as I like as long as the police won't find me. Yes, there's no feeling whatsoever after death, I can just about kill myself now if I'm suffering from all the mistreatment life has bestowed upon me. That's it, that will be the end of my suffering. Oh, there's nothing after death, why don't we just start to rid the world of all the bad breeds then the world will be nice and perfect with all the good people left behind?

Hmm.... ya, I hate that person so much, and since he won't feel a thing being dead, why don't I just kill him so that I can feel happier without his existence.

Err... I'm not a linguist. But do you get what I mean?

I'm not suggesting that everyone ought to have a religion but, heck, isn't the question of death one of the biggest question marks ever since the day you were born? I think it's pretty important everyone does a research and study on his/her own to find out what it is that exactly announced yours being here, yours given such a body, brain power, to feel and roam this world and what is there for you when your time is up.

Start looking before it's too late, my friend.