Do You Know?

My sister is michievous and there's no better word to describe her.
I MSNed with her today in our usual true Hakka-English style looking for my bro and below is a typical example of why I recon she is so:

YengSwift says:

Ah Moi

YengSwift says:

Is Ah Zai there

belinda says:

gone to town

belinda says:

why ah

YengSwift says:

want to ask him something loh

YengSwift says:

will be Back soon ah?

belinda says:

dont know oh

YengSwift says:

yo....

belinda says:

maybe gua

belinda says:

how i know? i am not his stomach worm

YengSwift says:

you should

YengSwift says:

you SMELL him Everyday

YengSwift says:

living under the same roof

belinda says:

then?

YengSwift says:

you even know his underwear's colour

YengSwift says:

hahaha

belinda says:

u know what the insects in your room think or not

YengSwift says:

wah

YengSwift says:

sounds like a great quote!

YengSwift says:

I want to put that on my blog

belinda says:
choi

ENT Day

One of the most exciting parts of ENT day (my usual Sunday morning schedule) is Tonsillectomy 扁桃体切除术, a small operation to remove infected tonsils; where white spots or white/grey coating are found covering the tonsils. Or Tonsillitis in short.

What are the symptoms of tonsillitis?

Sore throat
Tonsils look redder or more swollen than usual
White spots or white/grey coating over the tonsils
Enlarged glands in the neck
Difficulty or pain swallowing
Fever
Bad breath
Difficulty breathing sometimes, especially in children.
Irritable children
Ear ache

It is most common among toddlers and you should start suspecting when your kids have difficulty eating or snore really loud during sleep.



I really do admire the courage of these kids because we use a traditional technique called Diathermy, I think, an instrument that is being heated to a temperature of about 100°C and then to burn and scrap off the infected/swollen area. The heated instrument cuts away the tonsils and, no, there's no pain! But you've got to be really brave to see that thing being heated up and then put into your throat. And they have to do it like at least 3 times.



No, I won't do that even for 200 USD.



For people who get blocked nose, sneezing and flu all the time... like at least 3-5 times a year, despite advices to refrain from taking antibiotics or vitamin tablets, we give them special medicine to stick on some effective acupuncture points which help to activate the defense system in your body for better protection against bacterea and viruses.

It's quite a popular treament here in Mountain East and Uncle colleague seems to be getting the hang of it now.



I tried out a famous restaurant today recommended by our local students which they claim to be the best in town for dumplings. I'm all sceptical for I've tried more than 2 months of dumplings here in all sorts of places and no, there's no nice dumpling whatsoever in Mountain East.

But heck, since a PHD candidate is nice enough to buy me dinner tonight, why not.

The menu is quite impressive though, with all sorts of perculiar stuffing. There's even Mantis Prawn stuffing.


Cucumber Dumplings

He ordered 2 vegetaran dumplings and 1 meat. 3两 of Cucumber, 3两 of Tomato and 3两 of Green Pepper and Meat dumplings. And I was like thinking if this guy is crazy or wat. That's about 9 两 of dumplings. Err... 1 两 = 50 gram, so 9 两 is about 450 gram. Are you following me? No?

So how many exactly, you ask. Ok lah, 3两 give you 18 dumplings, alright? That would make it 54 freaking dumplings.


Green Pepper and Minced Meat Dumplings

Yo, but I didn't regret it. Because they really were the best dumplings ever. And now I know what makes a dumpling delicious. Yes, OBVIOUSLY, it's the skin and what you stuff inside.


Tomato Dumplings - the best! Chinese Ravioli! ha!

Because I've been eating the same freaking traditional Chinese Chives and Minced Meat 韭菜肉 Dumpling all these while I didn't know there are better version out there! And meat dumplings prove to be a wrong formula, it's too lame, no texture and smell horrible. On the other hand, all the vegetarian dumplings taste like a master piece of artwork that you couldn't help but to gulp and gulp non-stop like a hamster.

Yes, my friend, dumpling stuffing has to be veggie (choose your own) mixed with green bean noodle, black fungus and scrambled egg. Forget the Ajinomoto, ok.

Do not ever attempt to put minced meat. You'll lose the contrasting texture of the soft outer skin and crunchy stuffing. Your tongue likes being massaged too you know.

:-)

Death as a Question

Some of you've written to me expressing how you feel envious of me seemingly being so happy and free roaming around this remote and unknown city called Mountain East disguised as a 20 something.

Indeed, I feel nothing but fun and younger being a student again. I sleep like a baby and put all sorts of edible into my mouth of which our expects would categorise as being unhealthy. I eat full cream ice-cream 3 times a week and while licking away the delicious sinful melting fat I show off my unshameful wicked grin and gasp "Oh, so nice!" and not giving a damn of the unbecoming of my waist line. I jump up and down and shout like a kid with my mates. I wear brightly coloured t-shirt with fashionable jeans and trainers, tie my hair a pony, tell silly jokes and laugh with all my heart not worrying about my shoe size, do all the silly-dilly things and yet no one will chastise or laugh at me.

I enjoy flirting with innocent boys and see their cheeks turn pink. Boy, they are such babies. I like saying hello loud-loud and smile big-big to all the strangers in the streets and see them get surprised and then smile back using their long forgotten facial muscles.

Well, it just seems that being able to do silly things contributes a lot to the meaning of happiness loh. Ha! But, really, despite all the laughters, what I like most about being here is that I get to interact with the locals and they get me set into pondering mode a lot. Mountain East people are SOME kind of species that's nothing like the ordinary capitalists you'd meet from the British colonies.

They do everything with a clear motive. Well, motive may not be an appropriate term, but you know what I mean. And that motive has to either something to do with money or one's status in society. There's no such thing as a hobby or out-of-interest. There's no such thing as being soulful or romantic or to feel connected to nature. There's not such thing as enjoying a cup of nicely brewed coffee with a generously cut of cheese cake sitting by the road side. No such thing as, come let me buy you lunch today. No such thing as let's have BBQ party tonight. In short, China feels like a land without a soul.

It is cold here, my friend
Even the thermometre insists it's 38 degree C.

They think like E.T. if you ask me, and vice versus. And it's somehow thrilling. Imagine living among the population of 90 million (Mountain East alone, not the whole China) and none that you can connect with. Wah, that's so... Truman Show like... err... maybe not. But it's one heck of thrills.

Their take on life is pretty simple. To them, one is either alive or dead. If you happen to be alive, then you've got to strive for money and gain a favourable position in society to make your family proud. In order to achieve that one must go through the process of getting educated, learn English, be smart, get a job working for the gov, earn the cash, get a status, get the 'stars' lining up on your shoulder, get married young, stick to one partner, have kids (oops, kid) and, err, finablly, say bye bye to the world. And now, if you are dead, that's it, gone. No soul, no heaven or hell. No al-mighty God waiting to judge you. If you are dead, you are dead. The bubble bursted, like it never existed.

And somehow, this kind of philosophy reflects greatly on ... err... they way they look. Squarish face, tiny eyes and no expressions. Don't ask me how.

Do you know how dangerous it is to think there's nothing at all after death? That gives me the creeps. Not because I'm scared of death, but it is so because if one allows him/herself to accept that nothing will happen after death, can you imagine how such self will behave in his/her time being alive. What kind of acts and deeds such person would permit his/her own self?

You know what I mean? There's no hell, so I can just do about any evil deeds as I like as long as the police won't find me. Yes, there's no feeling whatsoever after death, I can just about kill myself now if I'm suffering from all the mistreatment life has bestowed upon me. That's it, that will be the end of my suffering. Oh, there's nothing after death, why don't we just start to rid the world of all the bad breeds then the world will be nice and perfect with all the good people left behind?

Hmm.... ya, I hate that person so much, and since he won't feel a thing being dead, why don't I just kill him so that I can feel happier without his existence.

Err... I'm not a linguist. But do you get what I mean?

I'm not suggesting that everyone ought to have a religion but, heck, isn't the question of death one of the biggest question marks ever since the day you were born? I think it's pretty important everyone does a research and study on his/her own to find out what it is that exactly announced yours being here, yours given such a body, brain power, to feel and roam this world and what is there for you when your time is up.

Start looking before it's too late, my friend.

Out We Go!

Yoo hoo! Today we are going to try out another Brazilian Churrasco restaurant nearby. It's a buffet lunch that's only RMB35 per head. No ++, ok? No catch! No need to add another 15% of this and that. :-)



My Taiwanese friend gets all dressed up coz she really enjoys hanging out with us. Uncle colleague was in eye candy treatment! Bird gazing is a hobby shared by man of all ages. Just put a bird in front of them, and their eyes are so fixed that they won't even noticed that you've microwaved his buttock. ha!

Yes, you can microwave someone's buttock.



We took the 1 Yuan bus and woala, arrived in no time. Gosh, it looks like a theme park.



The nice thing about Mountain East restaurants (proper ones lah) is that they have all the money to dump into the grand concept and decorate it like a 5 star hotel and give you the best food and cost only like a peanut. Incredible. Me loving it!



We get incessant supply of freshly brewed beer in green, red, yellow and black. I like the black the most though there's no kick. But, aiya, don't complain too much lah. Mathieu, my French boss, who's younger than I, and quite handsome also, was telling me I'm starting to sound like a China-Chinese grandma that complains all the time.

Where got?
*_*




See, soo much food! Just for RMB35. That's like RM 17.50.



They even serve fresh oyster and raw salmon.



Needless to say, all sorts of exotic meat come and go like it's God's birthday party. Yes, eat all you like, my children.



Took 3 waitresses to get the right shot for us. Ey, remember which one is Jamie Yeng or not.



All cakes in Mountain East looks alike. I'm starting to suspect there's a Bill Gate equivalent of cake maker in Mountain East that monopolises the cake market here.



My favourite of the night is Dragon Fruit and Banana salad. Never thought of a combination as such could work so well together. It's the perfect demonstration of Yin and Yang working in perfect harmony. Yin = Dragon Fruit, and Yang = Banana. Ey, do you also know that PERFECT is a kind of flower that has both functional stamens and pistils? Yes, both functional male and female organs! See... PER-fekt! Me not simply throwing out Yin and Yang theory with no basis one.

All in all, this restaurant is a much better one than the last because of the food quality though variety is lesser.




We visited the flower distributors that is situated right next to the restaurant. Lilies are everywhere and they are cheap. We are looking at RMB 3 for a stalk with 2 flower buds. It's so cheap I don't even want to look at it!



Another picture-whoring photo. I thought it's too nice not to be shared. :-) Ey, still no bid?



Uncle colleague was such a gentlemen. He bought me a bouquet of pink roses, with a vase some more. And that's my friend using my Toshiba.

Why Does it Have to be So Complicated?

I can finally make a trip on my own out of the campus today.

But it is to pay my daunting school fees that is going to leave me poor from now on.

Yes, I'll be eating only sweet potatoes from now on. And yes, and I know you won't even shed a tear!


Jagung and Sweet Potato: Solution for the poor.

Because there's no trading between Chinese Yuan and Malaysian Ringgit, my mum had to, from Malaysia, Telegraphic Transfer me the school fees, i.e. my hard earned blood and sweat money, from RM to USD to HQ of Bank of China in Mountain East. To do that, I bloody first need to go and open an account in China Bank because no bloody other bank can receive and convert USD to Yuan for me, so I was told.

Why bloody you ask?
Because I bloody have no idea what the officer at the counter says most of the time, let alone spelling the address of my university. When the instructed TT arrives, I have to go to the HQ of Bank of China to convert the USD to Yuan and then withdraw the stake of 4 inches high of money and carry it, virtually in great fear, to a nearby bank called the China Construction Bank to dump them in there. And then, finally, make a trip back to the campus and pay the school fees at one of the China Construction Bank's branches.

Gosh, why does it have to be so complicated?
It's not like I'm using the money to do something unlawful, am I?
I merely want to study how to use leaves and branches and some roots or maybe some funny insects, ok lah also some other funny things, as medicine and poke people all over with some needles and then heat them up with some burning sticks, that's not so dangerous, is it?

Anyhow, guess who attended to me at the Bank of China today?




It's an officer called Fong Yen Yen. Ok lah, to be exact, it's Fang Yan Yan. She was basically yelling in joy when she found out that I'm from Malaysia and carry the same surname as her.
"Look, this customer is from Malaysia!"
"Oh, she's a Fang too!"

That's the first SMILING cashier/front desk officer/receptionist/waitress (insert all sorts of servicing occupation) I've ever met in the course of 3 months staying in Mountain East that do not need me to
initiate a joke
be super polite
be extra-ordinarily nice and charming
be ALL SMILEY
to make her/him smiles back at me.

That's the magic of bearing a unique surname, I tell you.

*shakes head*

Tired.

Good night!

Lonely Buddy

It is another home alone day

I am taking a walk around the school campus
to feel the air
to see the clouds
to greet the sun

In a better mood, though.

It's breezy
Weather is starting to turn cool
Autumn is around the corner

I like gently breezy air
It is uplifting
It orchestrates the most wonderful soothing music
when brushed against the leaves of trees
decorated with rattling branches
and with the sight of falling leaves

Reminds me of the song Lifted by Lighthouse Family

It makes you feel loved when it caresses your face with its gently touch
It is invisible
But you know it is there

So are angels and all unseen living beings

Whenever you feel down, my friend
Talk a walk and feel the wind
I promise it will take good care of you

But the sound of a sheep bleating interrupts
It is from within the campus
I seek for it for it is calling out for me



Oh there he is
Poor little sheep
that has not got a name

He bleats with all his heart

My apology for not speaking your language
I cannot even untie you

But I will be your friend
You are not alone
For none of us is

The World is Full of Gigantic Things

Hello, all. Today is a happier day because I got to be out whole day. So smooch, kiss kiss to all of you. :-)

I recon you've seen enough of my elephant tuff and just in case, just, that anyone misses me too much, I asked junior to take a photo of me with one of the physicians from a smaller town during our Tui Na 推拿 lecture so that I can post me face here. :-)



Ya, I know my eyes are small. But you know what they say about people with smaller eyes... they are wiser, more loyal and trustful! :-)



I have great respect to my Tui Na lecturer for she's the no.2 女中豪杰 I met in Shandong. Look at the face of the guy! And she's pregnant!

After the lecture, we went for lunch somewhere near the school and passed by a lelong shop and found this huge skirt.



I don't know if anyone can hold it nicely around her waist but let's hope no one does.

Later in the afternoon, I got to ride on a motorbike for the 3rd time. And, woala, the Cake Fairy's Guild is being really kind to me as to grant my wish to be 'escorted' by a cool hunk. Damn cool! He's from Taiwan and has just completed his master d in TCM.

I went along with my buddies to take a look at his apartment. They plan to move out from the hostel and rent it. (So sad...)

Mr Giant is huge and cool. But his cat is even cooler!



Can u see how tall he is???



My god! That's a huge furry cat! Junior was in awe.



Dont' you just love snowy white cat? I think Faiz will love it/him/her.



The thing about cutie cats are they leave their fur everywhere. Mr. Giant passed junior a roller that's supposedly to clean all the left-over fur, which is quite useful, I think.

Mosquito Buzz

How many times can a person be driven nuts within 4-day time?

As if being punished to sitting on my arse doing bugger all whole day is not enough, there is a mosquito in my room that will soon buzz me to death.

SOME parent of the opposite sex once told me that God created Eve to distract Adam from being too competitive to Him. And all mighty brilliant God just knew what the exact ingredients needed to put in Eve to distract Adam, i.e. protuding breasts, smaller waist line, rounder bottom, and the ability to bother persistently with trivial complaints or drive-you-nuts questions that no one has an answer to.

For instance, do you love me?

Yes, I'm no Adam. BUT I DON'T LIKE BEING NAGGED AT AND I DON'T LIKE ANSWERING SENSELESS QUESTIONS.

"Have you taken your shower? It's already 9:15pm, you know"
"Did you use hot water to take your shower?"
"Where are you going today? Lecture or pratical?"
"Which lecturer? What's the discussion topic? Who is going with you?"
"Who just called you? What did you talk about?"

Repeat ALL randomly at anytime of the day.

I must say, this is some mosquito.




I took rounds and rounds of walk around the campus with my elephant tuff (ya, thanks bro) just to escape the mosquito BUZZ. And I found this funny looking motorbike. Ya, Adidas. There you go.



I guess my Taiwanese friend took pity on me. She offer me a motorbike trip again today to go to the nearby hypermarket. Yeah, motorbike ride, the next best thing to cake!



A mother trying to park her electronic bicycle.



Saw some imported alcohol on display in the hypermarket. I wonder if Faiz and Makas know whether it's cheaper or more expensive here compared to K.L.? Divide price tag by 2 to convert to Malaysian Ringgit.



I really like dish washing detergent in China because they are made of the most unexpected ingredients: garlic, papaya and ginger. And yes, they SMELL GOOD!

And hey, got some challenge for you guys today. Can you tell what these are?



Are they Ping Pong (table tennis) balls?



And what are these?



And these?

That's it for the day, me really no mood with all the nagging.

There Goes My Virginity - for Motorbike Ride

As you all know, I must have done something horribly wrong in my past life that somehow prolificated at this moment in life that made me being punished to sitting on my arse doing bugger all whole day for 9 freaking days.

And I think my friends are picking up hints and could sense that the level of sanity in me is descenting in a rather dangerously rapid manner that

• the fear of real wacko Yeng overpowering the usually nice and charming Yeng is starting to grow
• the fear of the gradual change of my eye colour surrounded with bloating blood vessels is starting to grow
• the fear of some unknown disgusting worms crawling out of my ears and nose is starting to grow
• and that the fear of finding suspicious dead bodies of cute little animals being brutally murdered and trees being stripped to bodak in the school compound is staring to grow.

Fearing for her life as being the closest to me, my junior bought me a piece of nice chocolate cake in an attempt to control the dropping-dangerously-sanity-level of mine. Well, I've got to admint, it does help a lot.



Ya, while I struggle to enjoy my pathetic tiny piece of cake sitting on my arse. She ignored and enjoyed herself with my never ending supply of games loaded in my toshiba.



The effort of controlling real wacko Yeng is taken over by my Taiwanese friend around evening time. She borrowed Mr Pro's motorbike and.... YOO HOO!!! I got to ride on a motorbike for the first time in my life!

Isn't a motorbike ride the coolest/most thrilling/best thing in life?
I don't know about you, but if you ask me, it's way better than making babies and endulging in chocolate. I also believe that the word COOL is originally used to describe motorbike rides.

It's so thrilling to drift in the wind and be able to stroke tree branches growing overhead along the way. It's nice to smile at pedastrians alike while on your motorbike. They smile back at you!
It's also nice to just cut in and out and jump in traffic queues.

It feels so F R E E.

It's WICKED!

That's it, I want a boy-friend with a cool motorbike. I want it so much I shall relate my idea to the Guild of Handsome Young Hunk with Sexy Motorbike to try to match make cool Cake Fairy like myself. :-)

Great plan.



We stopped at a so-called Chinese fast food chain store. No, they don't serve chinese burger here. It's basically the normal economy rice we get in Malaysia during lunch hour. Food not so delicious.

All in all, today's a SUPER HAPPY DAY, no dead bodies of cute little animals shall be found tomolo. Motorbike ride has just saved the world.

Peace.

Bonding Day

Because of my bloody forlon injured foot, I got to do a lot of bonding with my girl friends.



Today we had vegetarian dinner together.



I cooked this weird looking rice. That's a date, or Joo-joo-bee (no, didn't manage to get the donkey to hide it), also not a cockcroach, just in case you're curious. I'm sorry, you've just got to be prepared for weird looking food if you want Yeng to cook.



One of the coolest things of living in Mountain East is that I get to be a healthy vegetarian. Why so? The farmers here are too poor to buy insecticides! So we eat a lot of sweet and juicy vegetable everyday which are just as nice eaten raw.



There's just no way I can eat like this in K.L. No way!

Can You Stay in a Single Room Alone?

Oh, no! My privacy is being invaded!



Our Malaysian PHD candidates arrived. And I couldn't understand for goodness sake why one of them... already a professional physician, a mother of 2, and a grown up who's WAY older than I am, cannot stay in a room assigned to her alone by herself.



She said that she's never slept alone before and that she's scared. I really cannot comprehend a statement like that. Is there such a thing as 'too scared to stay in a room all by myself'? Whatever happened to Feminism? This is the 21st Century, ok? Or is it a Chinese thing again?

Anyhow, being the ANGEL that I am, lest I'll loose my cake fairy license, I nodded my head to her request to share my room with her for 40 days.



Now, here's another thing I don't understand about myself. I've never shared a room with other people in my life before except my mum, my grandma, or my sis. Why do I need to say yes when I really wanted to say no? Typical woman??? Oh... the cake fairy license.. ok ok.

I've got a feeling this could be the starting of a long horrible nightmares. I hope the Cake Fairy's Guild appreciate my commitment and endurance!

Yet Another Boring Day

It is just me or what
I just don't like pears in China
They are tasteless



Or was it because I'm so damn depressed by staying at home sitting on my arse doing bugger all for too long that I'm not only starting to loose muscles on my arse but my tastebud and sanity.



I then decided to try this funny thing called DONKEY HIDE from my Taiwanese friend. I seriously have no idea why they call it that. Why did the donkey want to hide the sweet jujube? For all that I know hidden JOO-joo-bee is quite delicious and good for women. So, if you have got a donkey at home, try ask him to get on busy hiding all your JOO-joo-bees. You wife will love you more. Don't say I never share.

*for the rigid lot, punk intended*



Later at night, my Malaysian colleague came and passed me a pack of patches that's made of capsicum for me to stick onto my ankle supposedly to promote blood circulation, a gift from one of the senior nurses at the hospital. Yo, so nice, didn't know I've got a fan at the hospital. Way better than a bouquet of flower eh?